Ok so he's done it again. Pastor Jason has been in my head. Scary thought I know. But yesterday's sermon hit home with me once again. Ironically it was more the second service that had me wanting to hit my knees, more so than the first. How can this be since both services talk about the same thing? It's all because of a phone call between services.
Do you ever notice that just when you're trying to get life straightened out something ALWAYS comes along and throws it off again? I've really had a wake up call this past month about my life and I'm excited about the changes I'm trying to make to improve myself. I've decided not to stress myself about things because I know things are only temporary. And I know that I'm doing what I can to do what I need to do.
But after my dad called me between services, I felt like the light switch had been flipped off again. Then Kelley started singing From the Inside Out...that first line..."A thousand times I've failed..." And thats how I felt at that moment. Oh great I've screwed something up again. Just one more mark on my nearly full card. Why can't I ever do anything right??? Just once I'd like to get something right.
As she kept singing..."I stumble again. still I'm caught in your grace." I knew that I had to just give it over to God. Yeah I screw up...a lot. But in the grand scheme of things...it doesn't matter. God is still totally in control. He is still on the throne. And HE still loves me..from the inside out. "His light while shine when all else fades." So even in those dark moments, He still shines.
I know that like Jason said yesterday, it's always darkest before the dawn. I know that I'm going through a little darkness right now, but soon my world is going to be so bright. God's brought me through things before and I know He's going to bring me through this.
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