I'm so in love....

Ever notice how when you're in a brand new relationship the first few months are the most romantic and memorable ones. You start off talking 3 to 4 times a day. You want that persons voice to be the first voice you hear in the morning and the last one you hear before falling asleep. You can't stand the thought of being without them. You want to spend every waking moment possible with them. And you can't even imagine the thought of not being together forever. There will never be another person like this. They're perfect for you.

And for a while everything is right with the world. But then you get comfortable, start spending time apart and start hanging out with your friends again. You're still together but don't need to be constantly with each other. You still talk everyday, but sometimes its only for a few minutes while you're on break or on the way home. The romance isn't there like it used to be. You both figure we're together now so we don't have to do those little things anymore.

Then you start picking apart everything they do. They didn't act like they should have (or the way you thought they should have). They didn't give you the answer you wanted to that important question that meant a lot to you. They didn't call when they said they would. They're hanging out more with someone else other than you. Your friends start telling you they knew from the start that they weren't right for you. They start telling you every single fault about that person. And all these thoughts start creeping into your head like, "maybe they don't love me anymore," or "maybe I'm just not good enough for them," or "maybe its just not the right time," or better yet "maybe we should be just friends."

So you stop talking to them. Ignore their calls, their emails, their facebook comments, and sometimes maybe you even change your number to avoid them. When someone starts talking about them, you shut down completely. You don't want to hear anything about that person because they hurt you. Or didn't treat you like you thought they should.

Isn't that how we treat Jesus???

In the beginning we are totally sold out to God. We're telling everyone we know how awesome the new love of our lives is. How much He loves us. How much He talks to us. We pray every morning, noon and night. We read His word more than anything else. We constantly feel loved. And everything is right in the world.

Then our friends and family start putting these doubts in our head. "Well where was Jesus when that happened?" "Why did God kill this person? I thought He could heal anyone." "Why did God not answer that prayer? Did He not know how much that meant to me???" So we only pray maybe once or twice a day. We maybe read His word once a week. And we only think of Him in passing.

And eventually we put God out of our lives for good. We can't stand for anyone to even talk to us about Him. Anything in our lives that reminds us of Him we throw away. I mean He didn't answer that prayer we really needed. He wasn't there for us when we needed Him. So we change our number so to speak. We ignore His calling. We let another woo us to them.

You know what? After Pastor Jason's sermon yesterday, I decided to fall totally and completely in love with Jesus again. I want those first few months feelings every month. Every day. I want Jesus to be the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing before I fall asleep. I want to talk to Him more than 3 to 4 times a day. I want every day to be the first day of our relationship. I want to draw little hearts around our names on every piece of paper I see.

Jennifer
Loves
Jesus

Together Forever

I AM NOT A BARBIE

I am not and never will be a barbie. I was not made to be like a plastic doll. I was not created to look like everyone else. I was however, fearfully and wonderfully made and His works are wonderful (Psalm 139:14). I am God's masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10).

I have struggled with the way I look every since I can remember. I can honestly say I remember being put on a diet in the 6th grade by my stepmother. I could only have one glass of tea at dinner. One piece of bread at dinner. And oh yeah, I had to take like 12 diet pills before every meal. This was in the 6th grade. I mean come on..my body wasn't even fully developed yet.

I've been sent to a nutrientist when I was in the 7th grade. Weight watchers when I was in the 9th grade. You name it, I've tried it. But the saddest part was that through all of that, through all the heartache of struggling to lose weight so that I'd feel pretty...my parents never once told me I was beautiful just the way I was.

Weight has always been an issue for me. And sadly, I look back and in the 6th grade I was only a size 12. The average woman is a size 14. So I was below average. But the media has put this image out there of what women are supposed to look like. Of what teenage girls are supposed to look like. And we wonder why women struggle with self-image issues. We wonder why a large percentage of teenage girls have some sort of eating disorder.

Guys, I'm sorry but your everyday "normal" girl will not look like what you see in the magazine leaning up against the hot rod of your dreams. Unfortunately, photoshop airbrushing hasn't made it to real life yet.

Now I am trying to modify my eating habits so that I can have a healthier life. If this results in losing weight, awesome. If not, I've got to learn to accept myself the way I am. I AM a beautiful woman of God. I AM fearfully and wonderfully made. I AM God's masterpiece. I AM created in His image. One day, someone will appreciate me JUST THE WAY I AM. Maybe some day that person will be me.

I'm tired of putting my insecurities ahead of everything in this world. I'm tired of not feeling good enough. Not pretty enough. Not skinny enough. I even let it get in the way of my relationship with God...I mean how stupid is that.

So God..right here and right now I give this over to you. I pray that every morning I look in the mirror and I don't see me the way I always see me. That I see me the way you do. The way you created me to be. That with every doubt, with every insecurity, every negative feeling, every negative thought that I beat it down with your promises. With your words.
Father I can't do this alone. And I'm thankfully you have put some wonderful people in my life to help lift me up. And I'm thankful you made me just the way I am.

Absolutely ANYTHING!!!

This last week at Renaissance Road was awesome. (Just like it always is.) But Pastor Jason was talking about Jesus being the only way to God. And at the end of the service he did something that I don't think we've ever done at church. He asked us if we had someone in our lives that we knew needed Jesus in their lives. And to really get their face in our mind. He asked for those who had that person in their lives to stand to their feet so that we could all pray for them.

Although there are many, many friends like that in my life, there is one person in particular that God has given me a VERY strong burden for. So of course his face came to mind before Jason could even finish his sentence.

I've been sitting through both of our services lately, so I stood up at both this week for him. The second service though...God laid a even bigger burden on me for him. I ended up weeping for him. I just started crying and I couldn't control it. My heart breaks soooo much for this person. He's such a great guy. Has so much good in him but just doesn't see it himself. There's so much that God wants to use him for, if he would only open his heart to Him. I just wish he could see himself through God's eyes. And if not God's, just mine. I see so much in him. I see so much hurt and pain in his life through his decisions, I just want to take it all away and make it better. But I know thats not my responsibility.

There is nothing I wouldn't do to see him drawn back to God and to grow in his faith again. We sometimes tend to say we would do anything for this person...or that person. But do we? Do we still continue to show them God's unfailing love even when they are making poor life choices? Do we still extend a hand out to them just to let them know we're there for them...no matter what?

I hope I do. I hope that when it's all over I can look back and say I honestly gave it my all. That I never turned my back on this person. That I continued to love him through out it all. That I continued to lift him up in prayer instead of judging his life. That I continued to interceed for him. That I continued to simply believe in him. Cause I would truly do absolutely anything to help him draw close to God.

And having felt that way for him for as long as I have...I just got to thinking...what if we felt like that towards every single person who's lost? What if we felt like that towards that stranger on the street? What if we felt like that towards that co-worker who irritates us so bad?

Can you imagine what the world would be like? So what's stopping us?

And the healing begins...

So tonight Bailey has 2 friends staying the night. They decided they wanted to go walking around the neighborhood. And my very first instinct was NO! There's too many freaks out there. To much bad that can happen. But I told them they could go but had to stay on our street and be in by dark. (Lord I'm really starting to sound like my mom.)

So I told them 8:45 at the latest. At 8:38 they come in. And this is what I hear...Ummm we had a little accident. Bailey comes out from behind her friends and her lip is busted, chin and knees scraped up and has a scrap on her nose. First concern..how's the teeth. They're fine. Ok. Ice bag. Check. Wet paper towels. Check.

Bailey's laying on the couch like in a state of shock. Freaking out that she's going to look horrible for the last day of school. I'm telling her to not dwell on it. That everythings going to be fine. And of course she's acting like its the end of the world.

I talk her into moving to the couch downstairs so she can watch a movie with her friends. And I come upstairs...a few minutes later I hear her laughing loudly with the girls. I told her it wasn't a big deal. But she didn't want to listen. When she took her mind off of it...she was fine.

I wonder if that's how God feels sometimes when we're crying and sobbing about things in our life. Does He look down shaking His head thinking...Drama much? We tend to think that our circumstances are so huge and so overwhelming. When in reality, their temporary. If we'd just stop dwelling on them so much. Stop stressing about them. Just stop thinking about them....the healing would begin. We would see looking back that...wow...it really wasn't the end of the world.

Broken Heart....

It's Thursday. And for those of you who truly know me, you know that means Relevate. Every week my heart is broken for these teens. I honestly don't remember life being this hard in high school. That could be because I was somewhat sheltered or maybe it's just because things have truly changed.

There are times I just want to love all over these girls and guys. Then there are times I just want to shake them. When I say my heart breaks for them, I don't mean in a poetic way. I mean I truly want to cry and just weep all the time. I see them wanting so desperately to be accepted. I see them just wanting someone to love them. They just want to know someone anyone will step up and fight for them.

And as much as I want to do that. As much as I want to take on all the evils of this world...I can't. It's not my place. Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble, but have faith. I have overcome the world." John 16:33. So no matter how much I wish to make things better for each one of my kids at Relevate...I can't. Jesus already has. We just have to have faith.

It's definitely easier said then done. Trust me...I know. But it makes it so much easier to get through crap and daily life when you have hope. When you have hope because He has already planned it. My favorite scripture (or one of many) is Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to give you hope and a future...."

Just trust in Him. We place trust in people everyday who SOOOOO do NOT deserve our trust. Why not place your trust in God. He won't let you down. He won't fail you. He won't turn His back on you. He won't abandon you. He won't spread rumors about you. He won't abuse you. But He will love you unconditionally.

Last night...was worth it.

So last night was yet another awesome night at Relevate. We're in the middle of a series titled "your life sucks." It seems to be reaching the students...I'm thinking we need to extend it. But anyway, Adam Huntley (our latest graduate at R2) spoke last night. He decided to speak mostly to the guys so asked if I could talk to the girls about staying pure.

This is one of my many many passions when it comes to teen girls. So of course I said yes. I started planning in my head and setting forth a game plan on what to say. Decided to go home and write a mini-sermon. But didn't.

So I basically went right off the cuff. I gave my testimony about having my beautiful daughter at the age of 20. What it was like being pregnant at 19. My past with guys. I really held nothing back. I allowed them to answer questions. Some did some didn't.

Talked to them about porn, the forms of it, the damages it can do, sexting, nude pic messages etc.

When talking to teens about such deep and personal topics, you can get worried. Am I really getting through? Are they tuning me out? And on and on and on.

Then afterwards, a girl came up to me and told me that while I was talking, she received a text message from a guy at school. He was wanting a "pic." I'm assuming she had been doing this already, but she told me that she replied that she was no longer going to do that. That she was a different person now. And just flat out told him no.

My eyes starting tearing up. I hugged her tight and told her she just blessed me mightly. And that it was going to be difficult to change but it was so worth it.

Most of the time, those questions I asked earlier go unanswered. How awesome it was to have immediate response. It made all my scars and past hurts worth it to know that I had made a difference in even one girls life. And all the girls were super excited about the possibility of having a purity prom and making a pledge to remain pure til marriage.

Thank you Jesus for being a God of second chances.

Friends...

I have the absolute BEST friends. I can't give them all a shout out in this blog, because it would be the never ending blog. But there are a few that I have to say a HUGE thank you to.

First, my pop. Kelley. I feel like we've been friends forever. Its hard to imagine what life was like before we met. You have went completely out of your way to help give me rides to and from. You have always listened to me without judgement or calling me out on my flaws. You always see the good in me. And encourage me. Lift me up. Let me cry when I need to. Let me vent when I need to. I have to say that if I never believed that angels live among us before, I definitely do now. God knew exactly what I needed in a friend and He gave me you. I love you and I thank you so very much.

So many of my friends have completely put their life stresses aside and stepped in to help me in my time of need. The Cox family. Even with struggling and corralling your 3 little children and your hectic lives, you still take the time to bless me with rides. Listen to my drama as if you don't have any yourself. And are simply just there for me. I am so thankful that you allow me to be part of your families lives.

The Meeks'...lol. Courtney and Mark. You guys just rock period. The rides to church on Sunday mornings have never been so entertaining. I'm just sad that it took my current situation to be able to get some good quality time with you both. But I have to say, I'm thankful it did. My appreciation for you guys has grown tremendously.

The Thomas'. Mike, Harriett and Laura. Like the Cox family, you have put your own struggles aside so that you can assist me. Between picking up Bailey from school or getting me to work, I have fallen more in love with your family. I am so looking forward to the day where I can bless you abundantly. Your family acts, assists and reaches out as all church families should.

Christy and John...wow. You both have simply put your trust and your finances in the hands of the Lord in a way that astounds me. I can not begin to express how much and how helpful you two have been this week. I don't think I can say anything more than this...I love you guys very much.

My boss Christie. You rock. Thanks for everything. (I'm not gonna get sappy with you...cause you'll just crack a joke...lol) But you are my sis-boo and I love ya.

God has really used a lot of people in my life to help me and comfort me lately. And again, I can't mention them all but I do want you to know that just because your name isn't in here, doesn't mean I don't appreciate you.

Of course, I can't forget one more important person. My pastor, Jason Goins. Although, I'm mostly spending time with your wife and kids, I just want you to know how much I appreciate you as well. Even if it seems like you're always in my head, I really appreciate you. I'm thankful that you allow me the honor of being with your wife and kids. I'm honored to serve you at church. I'm blessed to be part of Renaissance Road. I can honestly say, without a shadow of doubt or second thinking, that if I hadn't been part of Renaissance Road as I go through this trial, I wouldn't have the strength or the faith to get through it. For that I also need to thank Mrs. Farrah for inviting me that first time. And as Perry Noble said at Newspring...if you scraped it all tomorrow and started over, I'd have your back and be proud to still serve. I'm grateful to have you as not only my pastor...but also to have you as a friend.

Thank you seriously doesn't even begin to express the gratitude I feel for everyone. But thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all that you do.

Blooming roses

The last two days I've not been the usual happy Jenjo. I've had more family drama than normal. Of course, it didn't last long. A little screamin, a lot of crying, and then the forgiveness.

But today I'm sitting here in front of the picture window looking out as I wait for my ride to arrive, and I notice our roses have bloomed. Wow that's nothing special you think. But seriously, just days ago they were withered up and dead looking. So mom went out and cut them back. Got rid of all the dead ends. And within days our roses were blooming all over the place.

I can't help but think about the dead and withered bushes in our lives as Christ followers. The addictions. The low self-images. The depression. The attitudes. The friends. The bad habits. Just imagine how beautiful our bushes (lives) would be if we would just trim them back a little.

This must be important, because even God's word talks about this in Romans 11:21, "God didn't think twice about taking the pruning shears to the natural branches, why would he hesitate over you? He wouldn't give it a second thought."

Makes you think. We all definitely have areas we need to prune. We all have those roses that are just waiting to bloom.

Get out of my head...

Ok so he's done it again. Pastor Jason has been in my head. Scary thought I know. But yesterday's sermon hit home with me once again. Ironically it was more the second service that had me wanting to hit my knees, more so than the first. How can this be since both services talk about the same thing? It's all because of a phone call between services.

Do you ever notice that just when you're trying to get life straightened out something ALWAYS comes along and throws it off again? I've really had a wake up call this past month about my life and I'm excited about the changes I'm trying to make to improve myself. I've decided not to stress myself about things because I know things are only temporary. And I know that I'm doing what I can to do what I need to do.

But after my dad called me between services, I felt like the light switch had been flipped off again. Then Kelley started singing From the Inside Out...that first line..."A thousand times I've failed..." And thats how I felt at that moment. Oh great I've screwed something up again. Just one more mark on my nearly full card. Why can't I ever do anything right??? Just once I'd like to get something right.

As she kept singing..."I stumble again. still I'm caught in your grace." I knew that I had to just give it over to God. Yeah I screw up...a lot. But in the grand scheme of things...it doesn't matter. God is still totally in control. He is still on the throne. And HE still loves me..from the inside out. "His light while shine when all else fades." So even in those dark moments, He still shines.

I know that like Jason said yesterday, it's always darkest before the dawn. I know that I'm going through a little darkness right now, but soon my world is going to be so bright. God's brought me through things before and I know He's going to bring me through this.

relevate students

Last night was our service for Relevate Student Ministries. As we pulled up in the van in front of the building, I was blown away. There were teenagers everywhere. Skating in the parking lot. Shooting pool inside. Hangin out on the front sidewalk. And for a minute, I freaked out. I really started to feel scared and doubting this is where God really wants me.

I mean, come on, God wants to use ME??? Screwed up, crazy, acting like a fool me??? Surely there is someone better qualified to do this than me. I don't want to screw up these kids lives worse than they already are. What if I fail them? What if I say the wrong thing? What if...what if...

But as our student pastor Nick introduced us to everyone...and the kids called out my name. Or what they like to call me...Momma Jenjo. I realized I already have what it takes. Love. Because I may not know every single one of their names yet. I may not know their walk with the Lord yet. But I do know that I love every single one of them as if they were my own child.

My heart breaks every time I look at them. Because I know that what I had to deal with as a teenager is NOTHING compared to what these kids have to deal with. We didn't have "cutters" when I was in school. We didn't have any homosexual teens, that we knew of. We didn't have sex thrown at us from every venue possible; music, tv, movies, commercials, friends, family.

My heart breaks because all they want is be accepted just the way they are. All they want to be loved just the way they are. All they want is for someone, anyone, to pay attention to them and listen.

I'm so thankful that Relevate is a place where they can get all of that. I'm SO blessed to be able to be part of Relevate. And I consider myself lucky to be able to have these awesome teens in my life. I hope I can help them as much as they've helped me.

I love you guys!!!

stupid forward emails

You know what I'm talking about. We all get them. Especially from someone we haven't spoke to in years...sometimes more often than not I delete them. But my Dad has a way of sending some out that can be truly thought provoking. Like todays. It was Five Life Lessons.

I won't go into all of them. They were all excellent points. But the one that made me want to write was lesson #4..the obstacle in our path.

It tells a story of a King who put a huge boulder in the middle of a road. Then watched from a far to see who would try to remove it. Some of his wealthiest merchants came along and simply walked around it. Many blamed the King for not keeping his roads cleared. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. He set down his load and struggled to move the boulder. Finally he succeeded. And there in the road where the huge boulder had been was a coin purse filled with gold coins. The peasant learned what many of us never do. That every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve ourselves.

If you've been reading my blog over the last few weeks you'll understand why this meant so much to me. Because I have definitely learned that I need to improve myself. And if it hadn't been for this obstacle, I probably would continue to be dependent on my family.

This obstacle in my life is only temporary, but has made a life changing impact on me. I've never been one to budget. Or think ahead. I tend to have lived in the moment. Buying what I want. Not worrying to much about bills. I've made a lot of bad decisions and choices. And unfortunately, this has impacted my family the most. They've helped me out time after time after time. And please don't think for a moment that I'm not grateful for this, because I am truly blessed. My family has helped me out a lot over the years.

And if you're reading this, I am truly sorry for putting you through what I have. And I have finally woke up and realized I need to make some changes in my life to become more independent. By this time next year, you will not see the same little girl who needs to be bailed out time and time again.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have done, are doing and will do in the future. I love you very much!

Humble Pie

Once again, I had to tell Pastor Jason to get out of my head. That is why I'm completely devoted to the vision and future of Renaissance Road Church.
This past Sunday, Jason discussed the three life lessons he learned from working at Food Lion. The very first one was; Sometimes You Have to Grow Up. Now wasn't that similar to what my last blog talked about. How God was showing me that I needed to grow up...
The second lesson was; A Good Toilet Cleaning Never Hurt Anyone. Basically what he was saying that God will humble us, before he uses us. It's funny, I've always considered myself to be somewhat humble. I've never been one to boast about myself or my talents. I know that I'm nothing without God. Yada yada yada. But I tell you what...I've never been more humble than I have been this last week. Having to rely on others for a ride to and from everywhere...asking for help is very humbling.
The third lesson was; Everyone Wants to Push 21 Grocery Carts. To sum this one up, he was saying that sometime you will be God-contagious. That one day, everyone around you will want what you have. The hope, the love, the grace, the mercy that only comes from Jesus Christ.
I can only hope that through this experience that I can continue to show that it's only my faith in God that helps me endure. That through this experience I become even more humbled so that God can use me in ways I never imagined. That through this experience I glow with the hope of Christ to all around me and they want what I have.
I'm so thankful that God has brought me home to a church where He continues to speak to me. That He uses the most awesome family of Christ followers to lift me up.
Thank you God. And thank you Renaissance Road.
I love you all so dearly. And look forward to working with you all as we grow and dominate the triad.

I don't wanna grow up...

But I have to.

Anyone who knows me pretty much knows that up til now I've not lived up to my potential. It's funny. The other day I came across a file with just my name on it. Curious I opened it. Inside were some of my old report cards. And all I could remember was my teachers all saying, "Jennifer is very bright....she just doesn't apply herself."

I guess you could say that's pretty much been the story of my life. I have big dreams. I want to do so much. But I just never apply myself.

When I first started attending Renaissance Road Church in '08, I was amazed at how the Pastor Jason seemed to know me. Why did I think this? Because every sermon he preached seemed directed at me. The "Beyond" series...totally applied to me. The "M.I.A." series...yep that one too. The "Generation Sex"...well not all of that one did...but at least one got to me. The "Unstoppable" series...yep. The "Breakfree" series...uh huh. I seriously thought this dude had been going through my journals or something. Jason...GET OUT OF MY HEAD..jeez.

It was only just this past week I realized something. I'm not applying myself. Crazy as it may sound, I think I'm scared of success. Because if I succeed, everyone will expect more from me. If I try and I fail, everyone will know it. What if I disappoint everyone? What if I totally suck? What if....what if...what if.

But the biggest what if is....what if I've already missed so much of what God had planned because I didn't apply myself.

A few weeks ago, Jason talked about watches. You're probably thinking...huh? Watches? But seriously he did. He talked about how the Swiss were too scared to take a risk on a new type of watches so they did nothing. And guess who took over the watch industry, the Japanese, and they did it by using the Swiss' idea.

So after my awesome week last week, I've decided a few things. One, I am not defined by my past. Two, I am tired of being scared. I am tired of feeling worthless. I am called to prosper. So with the help of my awesome friend, I've set goals in place. And I am really looking forward to making some tremendous changes in my life in the next 6 months to a year.

I'm going to take the risk.

The more I do it...

If you read my blog in the last week, you know that I was speaking for the first time at Relevate Student Ministry. I was super excited...and super nervous.
I'd been preparing for well of a week. I had started writing it 2-3 times. Knew the scriptures I wanted to use.
Then the week of my sermon...God lays a totally different scripture on my heart. Which hey, it's His message I'm bringing so that's cool. He can do that. I went under a massive attack from the enemy which left me without transportation. But I refused to let that get me down.
So there I was stuck at work on Weds between shifts. Thankfully I had brought my laptops to work with me. Like I said I had started writing 2-3 times. And they were all good. But I knew I couldn't use all of it. So after reading some of it to my best friend, she advised me to just combine them all and then edit. That's what I did. All day at work I kept reading over it trying to prepare and memorize it as much as possible.
Ok..it's time. It's Thursday night...and of course we have a record attendance. Like I'm not nervous enough...lol. Everyone there was totally encouraging. And excited for me.
During my preparation, I had finally gotten it to be right at 15 minutes. Including all the jokes and all that. I felt confident in the message I was bringing. After all, it was something that I personally had struggled with and could speak from the heart on.
There I am....on the stage. Nervous. Anxious. And I totally flew through it. I think I was done in like 5 minutes...ok not really but it sure felt that way.
I feel I did pretty well. Everyone said I did great...but like they'd tell me I sucked. lol. Ok well I'm sure some of them would...(Nick).
But I know this is part of God's plan for me. To speak to and help young girls in their walk with Christ. So I know beyond a shadow of doubt that God will give me what I need to overcome any and all issues that I may encounter. And the more and more I do it (speaking) the better and better I will become.

Joy comes...when?

Lets see. How do I even begin to explain the week I've had? Let alone life. lol.
It's Friday and so far this week..I have no vehicle, no liscense, no cell phone, and now we have no air. And it's hot in here.
BUT I tell ya what. It seems like I should just give up right? I mean why not? I'm pretty sure my family's wrote me off as a loser and a failure years ago. I could sit back and pout. Or even better, stress out about it all.
See what my family doesn't know is that I have hope. I have abundant joy. I'm overflowing with mercy. Definitely not from them, but from my heavenly Father. And not to mention my R2 family. I realize that yeah...my life sucks right now. BUT there are many others out there who are a lot worse off than I. My life could be a lot worse than it is.
It's hard to explain to people who don't trust in God, that joy comes in the morning. It comes in the afternoon. It comes when your truck is being towed away. It comes when your family trashes you.
Why? How can I have joy?
Because I serve a mighty God. And I know His promises never fail me. I know He loves me unconditionally. And even better I know He has a plan for me.
This "life" is so temporary. The downs are only temporary. So the enemy can try all he wants. Throw what he wants at me. But HE IS NOT TAKING MY JOY!

So when does joy come?

All the time!

14 years ago....

Ok so 14 years ago...God blessed me with the sweetest and most precious angel. My daughter Bailey. If I've ever doubted God's love for me all I have to do is look at her. Then I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He must love me an awful lot to give me such an awesome treasure.

Most people would probably have freaked out if they found out they were pregnant at the age of 19. Not I. I was so happy. And I loved her before I ever knew her. I swore to protect her through everything. To love her unconditionally. To accept her...what ever may come.

Everyday I pray to become the type of Godly mother she deserves. To lift her up know matter what failures she endures. To encourage her through the dark times. To love her...no matter what.

When I look at her I can barely begin to imagine how much God loves us. Because however much I love her...He loves us even more. However much I hope for her...He hopes for us even more.

Bailey....you will always be my angel. You save me everyday. You bring so much joy to my life. You delight my heart in a million ways.

I love you doesn't even begin to cover it...but I love you baby!

First ever sermon

Ok so I'm super excited to be speaking for the first time to the Relevate students. I know this is where the Lord wants me, helping and ministering to students.
But can I just say, I'm super nervous also. I have such a burden on my heart for these kids; especially the young girls. I want to speak from the heart. I want them to see and hear how much I care for them. Most important I want them to see and hear the Lord through me. I know and have total faith that God will see me through.
So keep me in prayer next Thursday the 8th. Pray that hearts will be opened. Lives are changed. Give them a deeper thirst for God and His word.

Still cooler than Nick

What?
You heard me. I'm still cooler than Nick Cox. lol.
So seriously, Nick is a cool guy and he does totally love our students at Relevate Student Ministry. I can't believe he actually blogged. And then to throw out the challenge to have someone text him saying he's cooler than me...and then that person would be the subject of his next text....thats just pitiful.
Guess he doesnt realize that I've been a blogger a lot longer than he (even though I dont blog very often).
Well I'm secure enough in my coolness that I want to encourage all of the students to text him. Just to make him feel better.